A Visit to a Hospital( This is a true story,it happened to me a few years back)...
Last night l had what can only be described as a surreal evening,l had to go to the emergency room of a local hospital,(kidney Stones) arrived at about 8 in the evening to the emergency room,now, here in Puerto Rico "emergencies" are anything from a cough to someone having being shot, anyway had to wait about one hour to have someone take my blood pressure and ask me if l was in pain (no dear, l just love hanging out at emergency rooms),l get sent back out to sit and wait for another hour, finally my name is called out "the doctor will see you now".
l go to this dingy office and the doctor barely raises her head and ask "Que le pasa Don?' (What's up?)
Doctor, l try to explain, my guts are being tore out by this little rock inside my kidneys l tell her, now she tells me "relax give me all your information" this goes on for about 30 minutes,finally she says we gonna run some tests and l will give you Demerol for your pain "Thank You Lord".
I get sent back out once again, to wait for the nurse to take my blood and give me the Demerol.
Now comes more weirdness the nurse is this 300 lbs Samoan wrestler look alike, and she says to me "Come esta Don Rolando"(How are you Rolando) l look up and totally freaked out ,here she is ready to take my blood and shoot me full of pain killers,when l realized that she had being a former employee of mine whom l had fired a while back,and to make matters worse,her husband used to work for me also and l had fired his ass too., oh oh, now l am in trouble l am thinking,she is ready to pay me back.....
l try to smile and ask her about her family,but realizing that my life is now in her hands,by now my pain is so bad that l say what the hell just give me those pain killers.
Well, she takes my blood and tells me "pull down your pants" and gives me a shot,in about ten minutes no more pain, and l am flying l get sent to this little room where there are about 15 other patients just standing around waiting for who knows what,but l am feeling great the Demerol has by now really kicked in,the room is packed ,on the TV they are playing in Spanish the movie "Meet the Spartans" now this is straight out of Hunter Thompson,all l can l hear are a bunch of gay Spartans going to war singing "l will Survive" and then Paris Hilton,and so on on so forth,after a couple of hours the Doctor calls me back.'Don ya se puede ir".(Mr Feria you can go home now)Its 3:30 am,and my wife drives me home.....
Doctor, l try to explain, my guts are being tore out by this little rock inside my kidneys l tell her, now she tells me "relax give me all your information" this goes on for about 30 minutes,finally she says we gonna run some tests and l will give you Demerol for your pain "Thank You Lord".
I get sent back out once again, to wait for the nurse to take my blood and give me the Demerol.
Now comes more weirdness the nurse is this 300 lbs Samoan wrestler look alike, and she says to me "Come esta Don Rolando"(How are you Rolando) l look up and totally freaked out ,here she is ready to take my blood and shoot me full of pain killers,when l realized that she had being a former employee of mine whom l had fired a while back,and to make matters worse,her husband used to work for me also and l had fired his ass too., oh oh, now l am in trouble l am thinking,she is ready to pay me back.....
l try to smile and ask her about her family,but realizing that my life is now in her hands,by now my pain is so bad that l say what the hell just give me those pain killers.
Well, she takes my blood and tells me "pull down your pants" and gives me a shot,in about ten minutes no more pain, and l am flying l get sent to this little room where there are about 15 other patients just standing around waiting for who knows what,but l am feeling great the Demerol has by now really kicked in,the room is packed ,on the TV they are playing in Spanish the movie "Meet the Spartans" now this is straight out of Hunter Thompson,all l can l hear are a bunch of gay Spartans going to war singing "l will Survive" and then Paris Hilton,and so on on so forth,after a couple of hours the Doctor calls me back.'Don ya se puede ir".(Mr Feria you can go home now)Its 3:30 am,and my wife drives me home.....
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